iGI Joe
by stuckbeingrachel
Summary: Yeah, this is a pretty stupid idea...it's a crossover between iCarly and G.I. Joe Renegades. Give me some feedback, let me know if you like it, love it, or hate it. First chapter: Castle Destro Part 1! Seddie and Snake EyesXScarlet. 3rd genre: Romance. I DON'T OWN ICARLY OR G.I. JOE RENEGADES! R&R! *Discontinued, PM me about it.*
1. Castle Destro Part 1

**A/N: Okay I got bored and I was watching G. I. Joe: Renegades and reading a iCarly fic, and then this happened. Now I know what you're thinking, how can you do G. I. Joe Renegades and an iCarly X-over? Well I don't know, does it matter if they're cartoons? I don't think it does… anyway. This story starts off with the episode Castle Destro and will continue on from there. I don't care if you don't like it I just had to get it out of my system. Now, if no one likes this I'll take it down, but I just want some feedback. So please review! Also my other fics are still in progress. **

**-Rachel**

* * *

Shipwreck waved at the back of the truck as they drove away in the Coyote. The Joes had just landed in Scotland and were driving towards their destination. Tunnel Rat hunched over in the drivers seat with a determined look, watching the road closely.

"You're lookin' a little tense, my man." Roadblock stated. "Want me to take the wheel?"

"I've been through sleet, snow, hale and a long island express way, a little Scottish mist got nothin' on me." Tunnel Rat retorted.

Roadblock turned back to the road to see headlights heading straight for them. He launched forward and turned the wheel quickly, barely missing the truck.

"Easy!" Tunnel Rat told him.

"Woah, ho! How 'bout Scottish roads? You drive on the left side here." he said.

"Is it any wonder I prefer traveling by sewer pipe?" he asked.

"Hey look at this." Scarlet asked Duke looking at her handheld. They sat in the back, trying to block out Tunnel Rat and Roadblock.

When he didn't answer she turned to him. He was looking out the window, ignoring her. "Duke?" he looked at her. "It's the inventory I downloaded from _Cobra's _storehouse in Canada."

"Okay." he said dismissively and turned back to the wet, gray Scottish scenery.

"Listed under _Bio-Viper_-there, see?" she turned the devise towards him. He turned to it. "It's a reference to some kind of delivery system called the _Bio-Dag_."

"Fascinating." he muttered.

"Think about it, _Cobra's _planning to deliver the _Bio-Viper _somewhere." she continued.

He sighed.

Being Scarlet, she got fed up and grabbed his shirt pulling him towards her, putting them nose to nose. "I don't know what you've been moping about but it's time to get your game face on. We're two miles out from where that _Techno-Viper _was headed. We have no idea what we're walking into."

"Exactly."

She looked at him concerned. He's never acted like this before. She let him go and went back to her research. But, every once and while she would sneak a glance at Duke to see him looking out the window absentmindedly.

A while later they came to the destination, a castle.

"Well, not the standard _Cobra _lab I was expecting." Scarlet stated getting out of her seat and moving to the front.

"You suppose that _Techno-Viper _just picked those coordinates at random?" Roadblock questioned.

"I'll find out." Duke told them jumping out of the truck, blaster in hand. "You sit tight."

"Sit tight? What are we twelve?" Tunnel Rat asked his friends as Duke opened the castle's big, wooden, double doors.

Duke made his way into the castle, senses on alert. He charged the gun, ready to fire if necessary. The room was completely empty besides a few suits of armor. He heard footsteps behind him and turned, blaster pointing at the target. It was Roadblock and Tunnel Rat.

"It's like walking into a museum." Roadblock joked.

"I thought I was running recon?" Duke shrugged.

"We missed you." Tunnel Rat smiled.

"This place is massive." Scarlet stated walking towards him, Snake Eyes stood behind her with a blaster in his hand. "It makes sense to use more bodies."

"Fine." he sighed and followed the group. "But we stay together and nobody touches anything." he grabbed Tunnel Rats shoulder and turned him around before he touched a suit.

Tunnel Rat watched him, annoyed as he walked away and turned quickly at the sound of a bang. The small windows near the ceiling slammed shut with metal doors as did all other means of escape.

The Joes looked at their small friend.

"I didn't touch a thing, I swear." he promised them.

Roadblock pushed on one of the silver doors. "Okay, the way I see it, we just tripped some kind of automated security system."

"That or someone's watching us." Scarlet suggested.

"Either way," Duke said raising his gun. "We're getting outta here."

The wiring of the gun slowed down and shut off as he pointed it at the door. He pulled the trigger and nothing happened. He pulled it again with no luck. "Great. Check you weapons."

"I got nothing." Tunnel Rat told him.

"They've been powered down somehow." Scarlet stated.

"Then our first priority is to find an exit. Let's move." the blonde instructed.

The team hurried down a dimly lit hallway, not noticing the suits of armor's eyes turn a glowing green.

* * *

The traffic in the city was heavy and a loud rumbling sound could be heard from the sky. Suddenly something hit the concrete. The people gasped and looked towards the cloud of dust, but when it parted nothing was seen. Seconds later though, a giant red missal could be seen. Cars and trucks stopped irrupted Ely , causing wrecks to take place. The sides of the missal flew off revealing guns with a blue substance in it. They came off the side of the rocket and shot at the sidewalks, the citizens screamed and ran away from the aim of fire.

_Bio-Vipers _grew from the goo and threw cars, broke windows, causing chaos everywhere. Two of the monsters walked towards a fallen man and leaned forward before freezing.

"As demonstrated by this simulation, the _Bio-Dag _flies virtually undetected until the moment of impact. By then it is to late." Baroness announced. "Dr. Bender, Destro, this is a wonderful example of how your calibration should work. Particularly in light of your last failed effort."

"I still say you mothballed the _Techno-Viper _too soon, Baroness." Dr. Bender or Mindbender retorted. "I had such high hopes."

"What hopes?" Destro questioned. "That slime was too erratic much like it's originator."

"Only the tech was erratic, metalmouth." Mindbender insulted referring to Desto's headgear.

"Enough." Cobra Commander ordered. "Baroness, if we employ the _Bio-Dag_ now wouldn't the _Bio-Vipers _leave evidence that could be traced backto _Cobra_?"

"I'm confident that won't be a problem Commander," the woman replied. She lifted her hand and rewound the video, playing it again and the blue attackers dissolved.

"Very nice." Cobra Commander rasped. "And what is the status of the prototype?"

"Built and ready to launch at my island facility." Destro answered.

"Then let's stage an actual demonstration, shall we?" the Commander suggested.

"Of course." Destro replied. "And might I be so bold as to suggest that just Baroness come to personally supervise the test?"

"Excellent idea. Baroness, divert your flight."

"But sir-" Baroness tried as Cobra and Mindbender left the screen. "Destro I really don't see an advantage to having me their simply to watch you push buttons."

"I have something to show you, my dear Baroness. A gift that was unexpectedly left on my doorstep."

* * *

"Now we know who's hospitality we're enjoying." Roadblock muttered coldly as he and Snake Eyes stared at a picture of-

"James McCullen." Tunnel Rat said walking up to them. "_Mars Industries _big headed honcho."

"And the reason our weapons aren't working." Scarlet pointed out. "He built them, he obviously knows how to power them down. Remember McCullen's in bed with Cobra, we need to find him, I think we should split up."

"No. Too risky." Duke cut in surprising Scarlet.

"Duke, a word in private, please." she stalked past him and into the next room and he followed reluctantly. "Since when is anything 'too risky' for you?"

"I'm just desisting the treat level. We've been to reckless lately." he responded.

"That's not it. I've noticed a change in you ever since Roadblock nearly drowned." she accused and studied his face, which was shocked before turning serious again. "Duke, that wasn't your fault."

"But it was my responsibility."

"That's what this is about? We're all responsible for each other. Cut yourself a little slack."

"The squad depends on me to keep us alive, Scarlet." he told her. "And I need to start doing a better job of it."

* * *

Baroness stepped out of the _Cobra _aircraft and down the steps to where Destro was waiting.

"Welcome Baroness, to McCullen Castle." he greeted taking her hand and kissing it through his mask.

"My time is short, where is the _Bio-Dag_." she asked crossing her arms.

"This way." He directed her to a door leading into the castle and followed her. They stopped in a large dining room with a growing fire and a feast on the table. "I thought we could enjoy a little repast while we work."

He pulled a chair out for her and she sat down. He picked up a silver tray of chocolates and held them out to her. "Chocolate? Some of the finest in the commonwealth."

She sniffed the candy for a moment before sighing. "I do love chocolate."

"We are very much alike, you and I." he stated.

"What do you mean?"

"We've made similar choices in our lives. We have passions and put them to work in hopes of improving the world." he explained.

"Yes, Cobra has provided us both with wonderful opprotunities, even if you do tend to turn your nose up at them." she retorted.

"I've learned my lesson Baroness." he apologized. "And since then I've done everything the Commander has asked of me."

"Perhaps you should consider doing more of what's asked of you." she suggested.

"By presenting you with a gift that will take your breath away." he asked taking a remote out of his jacket. They turned to the screen and he turned it on showing the Joes wondering through the castle.

"Meet our dinner guests for the evening. Ready to have some fun?"

Immediately an evil smirk made it's way onto her face.

* * *

Duke opened a door at the end of a hallway, unaware of Baroness and Destro watching them. Behind the door was a large room of weapons, Destro's home office.

"Jackpot." Tunnel Rat smirked.

Snake Eyes walked over to a wall of guns and took one off to test it. When it didn't shoot he turned to the group and shook his head.

"No go, these are dead too." Scarlet informed the group as the ninja put the weapon back.

Roadblock turned around and gasped, before was a room of robots.

"Hey!" Tunnel Rat called and Roadblock turned to him quickly. "Check it out."

The smaller Joe walked into another room filled with glass display cases of medieval weapons.

"He can't power down these bad boys." he smirked picking up a mace.

He looked up as his friends walked in. Roadblock grabbed an ax. "If we gotta fight, we'll just do it old school."

"Well, it is better than nothing." Scarlet sighed looking at a crossbow.

Duke picked up a mace. "At least till we find our way out of this maze."

"Oh, I don't think you'll be going anywhere, my dear home invaders." said a voice. The five looked around for the person. "Now that you've properly armed yourselves, tonight's entertainment can finally begin."

The armor came to life and pointed it's fist at the squad, glowing.

"Everyone take cover!" Duke called.

They jumped behind tables as the suit shot plazma bolts at them.

* * *

"A suit of armor, how inventive." Baroness commented watching the battle.

"Actually, it's one of my new android troopers prototypes inside the armor, for security sake." Destro explained.

"The Commander will be so pleased."

"Must you always put his interest ahead of your own, Baroness?" he asked turning her towards him. "The Joes are my gift to you, not to him."

She chuckled softly.

* * *

Tunnel Rat flinched as the table blew up behind him. He jumped behind the table Snake Eyes was using, who shot up, threw a knife at the gun on the robot's arm. It exploded at the contact and Scarlet shot it's head when it was aiming once again. After it blew up three more came to life and aimed.

"Grab a shield!" Duke ordered.

They took a shield off the wall and held them up.

* * *

Destro lit the fondue pot and blew on the flame. Only to fail, his mask restricted him from many things. Baroness walked up took his hand that held the watch in hers and blew it out for him.

"I am so embarrassed." he said shamefully.

"Don't be, I can't imagined the last time I so enjoyed myself." she assured.

He took a stick, punctured a strawberry and put it in the chocolate.

"The fun doesn't have to end here." he whispered holding up the fondue covered fruit. He held it out to her and she took a bite.

"Mm." she approved.

"Anastasia, just think of what we could accomplish in concert." he said softly putting the stick down and taking her hands.

"A partnership?" she tilted her head to the side in confusion. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Try having a little something to eat." she suggested holding up the strawberry.

"Unless you brought a straw, my dear, I'll be dining later." he informed her pointing to his metal mouth.

* * *

The five ran down the hallway, away from the robots. They stopped quickly when more robots came from the other end.

"This way! Move! Move!" Duke instructed pointing to an archway to the right.

They ran in and Duke and Roadblock pushed the doors shut and Roadblock shoved his axe into the door handles.

"This ain't gonna hold more than thirty seconds." he declared.

They turned around and found another door, blocked by a steel one.

"And the final chapter of tonight's thrilling drama, the dead end." Tunnel Rat said.

Plazma bolts shot through the door and Duke looked around desperately. He spotted a cannon near them and ran over to a barrel near it, hoping to find gun powder. He swung his mace at it and it smashed open. It was empty and Scarlet walked over.

"Well, for a second there it seemed like a good idea." he stated.

"It still is, we just need the battery packs from our weapons." she told him.

"Why?"

"They explode when ruptured."

They all slid their battery packs to her and she placed them carefully into the cannon's barrel. Duke slid a cannon ball in after while Scarlet took a sword off the wall. The door burst open and the robots came pouring in.

"Wait, we only get on shot and those things will keep on coming." Duke said and pushed the cannon towards the steel door.

"Now!" he yelled.

She jammed the sword into the wick and the cannon fired, blowing a hole in the wall.

"Can't find a door, make one!" Tunnel Rat stated.

Roadblock cut the heads off a few robots and Snake Eyes cut a few in half. Roadblock threw his axe at one's head and ran through the door with the rest of the gang.

* * *

"Uh oh." Destro muttered.

"Define 'uh oh.'" Baroness told him standing up with him.

* * *

The five backed up against the wall when they came to another room. It had a giant rocket, red and yellow, with men standing around, taking notes on clipboards.

"_Bio-Dag_, remember?" Scarlet asked them. "That's the viper delivery system I saw on _Cobra's _inventory. Their preparing to launch it."

* * *

Scrap Iron looked up and noticed the Joes. His eye grew wide and he pushed a button, sending an alarm. Robots came out of nowhere and began shooting at them.

"Keep moving, go, go, go!" Duke ordered and ran up the metal steps next to them with the others following close behind.

They ran out a door only to be shot at from above. They jumped over a few fallen walls for protection.

"Those punk-bots are aiming for a better shot. We need a plan, now!" Roadblock told the gang.

"That V-Toll out there," Duke started pointing to Baroness's aircraft. "I can access it's missal system."

"So can anyone of us." Scarlet retorted. "You don't have to be our protector."

Duke smirked at her before jumping over the wall and running towards the airplane.

"Duke!" she called.

* * *

"Destroy that airship!" Destro commanded his robots. Baroness turned to him with narrow eyes. "I'll buy you another."

* * *

The others watched as the airship rose and shot missals at the walls of the castle. Suddenly two robots shot from below and hit on of his wings. He gripped the steering wheel tightly, trying to hold it in place. It was shot again and started to come down, it blew up seconds later and the other four watched in horror.

Scarlet gasped. "Duke."


	2. Castle Destro Part 2

**A/N: iCarly is coming in here…**

* * *

The airship exploded and the robots ran to them. The four remaining Joes stood shocked. They were surrounded and they didn't really care.

* * *

"Hold your fire." Destro instructed the robots.

"That…that was incredible." Baroness stated.

"And their fate now rests in your hands, what are your orders?" he asked her.

"Hold them, I have questions." she replied.

"Take the prisoners to the dungeon." he ordered.

She smiled up at him and rested her hand on his hard, cold face. He turned his head and she rested her hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry this mask must come between us, Anastasia." he whispered.

"Perhaps Cobra Commander will recognize your achievement and allow me remove it for you." she suggested.

"Ahem." a raspy voice interrupted.

The two split apart quickly, turning to the screen where Cobra Commander sat.

"Commander I…um…we were-" Baroness stuttered.

"It is not as it appears, sir."

"What he means is: James…I-I mean, Destro has successfully captured the Joes." she explained. "Their leader has already been eliminated."

"That is good news."

"In regards to the test, we'll now focus on a sight and-"

"I've already chosen," he told her. "A mining camp in Greenland, owned by a particularly annoying competitor. Make certain there are no survivors."

"We will launch the _Bio-Dag _as soon as I receive the coordinates, Commander." Destro replied.

"See that you do." he rasped before disappearing.

* * *

"First Ripcord, now Duke." Tunnel Rat said sadly.

"What was with him, man?" Roadblock asked. "Why did he go all lone wolf like that?"

"For us." Scarlet replied. "He didn't want his decisions putting us at risk anymore."

"That's crazy. That dude was good at making decisions." Roadblock retorted.

"Eh, being in charge is over-rated." Tunnel Rat stated. "Who would want that job?"

"Hey!"

The Joes looked up to see a blonde girl and a brunette boy being brought to the cell.

"Stop manhandling me!" the blonde yelled at them.

When the door was closed she grasped the bars with her hands. "Hey, come back here and apologize!" she called after them.

"Great. Just great." the boy yelled. "You just had to stop and ask for directions, didn't ya?"

"How was I supposed to know this was McCullen Castle?" she retorted. "They should have a sign or something."

"They did have a sign! Right next to the door." he told her exasperated.

"Well, excuse me for wanting a burrito." she huffed.

"They don't have burritos in Scotland!"

"This is where burritos were born!"

"That's Mexico! The only thing born here were bagpipes!"

"What? Oh, that makes more sense." she murmured.

"Yeah." he nodded.

They turned to the Joes and looked at them expectedly as did the others.

"Who are you and why are you in here?" the girl asked.

"I'm Scarlet, this is Roadblock, Tunnel Rat and Snake Eyes." Scarlet answered pointing to her fellow team members. "We're here for breaking and entering, trespassing, destroying property, and a bunch of other stuff."

"Sam and Freddie." Sam introduced themselves. "Do you guys hate _Mars Industries _or what?"

"_Cobra _mainly." Roadblock replied.

"Us too." Freddie smirked.

"We're from the FBI." Sam told them. "We've been investigating _Cobra _for two years now."

"Wow."

"Wait, I've seen you guys on TV," Freddie remembered.

"Oh yeah," Sam agreed. "Where's your blonde friend?"

"Gone." Tunnel Rat answered sorrowfully.

"Oh." the two looked at each other. "Sorry."

"Unless you want to join your fallen comrade," Baroness said walking into the room with Destro right behind her. "You'll answer me truthfully. Who told you about this castle?"

The Joes and the ninja stood silently at the bars while the other two stood where they were. The robots pointed there guns at them quickly. "Last chance." Destro warned.

"I know that voice," Roadblock murmured. "McCullen."

"Nice headgear." Tunnel Rat commented.

"Shoot them all." Destro ordered. "Start with the ninja."

"Wait, stop, stop." Scarlet spoke up.

Destro held up his hand, signaling the robots to stay put.

"Your _Techno-Viper_ was headed here." she confessed.

"I'm listening." Baroness said.

"We assumed it was following some kind of homing instinct."

"What?" Destro muttered. "I never programmed a homing instinct, that must be Mindbender's doing. But why would he send that thing to my castle, unless…unless he was sending it after me. Baroness!"

"We'll discuss it later, Destro. Right now we have a launch to attend to. Bid farewell to our guests." she replied.

"Finish them." he ordered as they walked out of the room.

The robots aimed before an explosion came from above. Duke landed in a robot body suit and shot the robots.

"Duke!" the Joes called.

"Your alive." Scarlet sighed.

Duke shot the corners of the door and it fell open.

"And you wondered why I was so eager to get out of this castle." he retorted.

"We saw you get blown up!" Tunnel Rat declared.

"Tell us what happened, how did you get out?" Scarlet asked and the friends walked forward.

"When that V-Toll was coming apart around me, one thing became obvious: I had to bail. I jumped out and landed in the well, by the time I got out you were being escorted into some kind of passageway."

Roadblock laughed. "You dog! You had us all emotional and everything!"

"And I hate getting emotional." Tunnel Rat said.

"Very macho guys, but we have a launch to scuttle." Scarlet reminded them.

"Good thing there are more where this came from." He said and noticed Sam and Freddie and looked back at his friends. "Who're they?"

"Fellow _Cobra_ dissers, whoo!" Sam cheered.

"You shoulda been a cheerleader in high school." Freddie told her.

Sam scoffed. "Yeah right. We've got spirit, yes we do! We've got spirit, how 'bout you? Go Bulldogs!" she finished, waving her hands around with a very forced preppy voice.

"You woulda made a great cheerleader."

She glared at him and punched his shoulder. He gasped and held his soon to be bruised arm. "No you wouldn't."

"Good boy." she nodded and turned to Duke. "Sam Puckett and Freddie Benson, top FBI agents."

He looked at his fellow Joes.

"Don't worry, their friendlies." Scarlet smirked.

* * *

The hatch opened for the rocket to launch through as Destro and Baroness ran in.

"Forget the systems checks, Scrap Iron, just release the clamps and launch!" Destro ordered.

Scrap Iron pushed a few buttons.

An explosion was heard in front of them and the Joes, plus Sam and Freddie jumped in with robot armor.

The robots shot at them and Roadblock shot a missal at the control panel.

"_Warning, clamps still engaged. Ignition in thirty seconds." _the voice said over the speakers.

Destro looked up and grabbed an axe off the wall.

"What's that mean?" Baroness asked.

"If I don't release those clamps the rocket will fill this place with fire and destroy the castle." he explained, taking an axe off the wall.

The robots shot a barrel near Duke and he went flying to the ceiling. He crawled out of his suit and noticed Destro riding up the side of the rocket. Destro hit a clamp and it fell to the ground.

"_Twenty seconds until ignition."_

He moved on to the next one and Duke ran towards it. The other robots and humans in robot suits kept shooting at one another as Duke made his way up the scaffolding. Destro hit the clamps a few times and Duke kicked him off the scaffolding onto the elevator.

"Such wonderful heroics, sergeant, yet all for not." he said going down slowly.

"_One. Zero. Ignition."_

The rocket began to take off and Duke thought quickly. He grabbed the axe and jumped off the falling scaffolding. He dug the axe's blade into the side of the missal and slid down. He let go and fell to the floor. He somersaulted out of the way as the rocket exploded. Roadblock shot a wall and they ran out.

* * *

"Anastasia!" Destro called. He ran to her limp form and picked her up gently.

"James…" she murmured.

"You'll be alright." he whispered.

"What will we do? Cobra Commander?" she asked.

"I will except full responsibility." he said nobly. "What else could he possibly do to me?"

"You have no idea." she warned.

* * *

"Well as fun as this is, we better not hang around, I'm sure Cobra is sending back up." Scarlet told them.

Sam and Freddie began to trudge down the street while Tunnel Rat, Roadblock and Snake Eyes got in the truck.

"Duke-" Scarlet started.

"Don't worry I'll be fine." he smirked.

"I know, and so will we." she reminded him. "As long as we're all in this thing together."

Roadblock started the truck as Duke shut the door. "Uh…just wanted you to know Duke, we'd follow you anywhere."

"Feelings mutual." he smiled.

Roadblock pulled down the street and stopped at Sam and Freddie. He rolled down the window. "Hey, uh…" they looked up at him and he looked back at Scarlet and Duke. They nodded and he turned back to the other two. "You guys need a lift?" he smiled.

The brunette and blonde looked at each other and smiled. "Sure." Sam replied.

They hopped in and sat down the back.

And that's how they became official Joes.

* * *

**A/N: There ya go, Sam and Freddie are part of the gang now. So like I said it's going to carry on from here with every episode. Probably in two parts each, maybe three. Depends on how long I can go copying the episodes and adding Sam and Freddie. **

**-Rachel**


	3. Discontinued

**So, yeah, iGI Joe is officially discontinued. **

**I'm sorry, but I have way too much to write right now, and I just can't work on this. I apologize! If you would like to adopt it, please review or PM me! Thank you.**

**-Rachel**


End file.
